I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Randomize
