Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
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You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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