So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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