btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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