So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
