??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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