He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
that may or may not have been my penis.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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