is wine microwaveable?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
