I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
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