I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
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He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
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We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I smell like Dick and happiness
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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