Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
