i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize