elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
high people should be assigned attendants
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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