so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
