Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Randomize
