i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
