You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
