Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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