Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i was born a porn star she said
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His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
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