There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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