Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
