i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
