I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Randomize
