Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
