im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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