Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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