I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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