All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Randomize
