You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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