I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
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