You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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