that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
