he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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