she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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