My balls are so social today.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize