I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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