I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
