Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
