This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
im having a threesome with these popsicles
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
3pm strippers are depressing
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
