I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
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I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
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I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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