Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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