I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Every concussion has its silver lining
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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