Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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