Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
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