She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
