Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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