Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
