Capitaan dildo arrescate!
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
