Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
