Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
