the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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