RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
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