All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
