yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize