just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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