I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
