So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
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he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
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