Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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