how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
