Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize