I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
