I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
